Oh helloooo, tiny little candied miracles. These are seriously the coolest things ever. They come together super-quickly; all you have to do is stir together sweetened condensed milk, cocoa, and butter over the stove until you have something roughly resembling that gloppy monster from Candy Land (am I the only one who remembers him? I think he may have given me nightmares), pour it into a pan to cool, and roll it into balls, sticking some (seasonally-appropriate) sprinkles on them if you so choose. Helpful hint: this goes even faster if you don’t screw it up the first time around and accidentally cook the mixture over medium-high heat instead of medium-low heat, ending up with little blocks of hardened sugar instead of gloppy, the creature from the candy-deep. Speaking from experience.
Anyway, in the end, you’ll have these miraculous candies that are the exact texture of soft caramels, only a billion times better because they taste like chocolate. Also, they allow me to take nerdy photo montages of my cat, like this:
Can I help you?
1 14-oz. can sweetened condensed milk
1/2 cup Dutch-process cocoa powder [I used Hershey’s Special Dark]
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1. Combine sweetened condensed milk, cocoa powder, and butter in a medium saucepan over medium-low–NOT medium-high–heat. Cook, stirring frequently, until mixture is very thick and rubber spatula holds its line across bottom of pan, about 25 minutes. Pour into greased 8-by-8-inch baking dish and refrigerate until cooled, at least 30 minutes.
2. Working with approximately 1 tablespoon pieces at a time, roll into 1-inch balls. Place small sprinkles in small bowls and roll chocolate in coatings until covered. Store in refrigerator up to 3 days.
Source: America’s Test Kitchen Feed